My brain hurts!

Kurt Cobain once said: “Humans are idiots. I’m ashamed to be human.”

And speaking of idiots, what breed of utter moron thinks it’s acceptable to take a trip to the seaside or queue to walk up Mt Snowdon during a pandemic?

I’ve been trying to make sense of it since last weekend: Is it selfishness or just rank stupidity that prompts crowds of people to head for Southend – or any resort for that matter – when we need to be keeping our distance?

You just know these are the same people who have 200 loo rolls and an entire pasta harvest hidden inside their garage.

They are the modern day equivalent of Monty Python’s Gumby characters. If you’re under 50, check it out below.

There’s even a sound file doing the rounds on social media of a 75 year old woman on a Radio Solent phone-in where she insists it’s perfectly fine for her to enjoy the weather and visit a 78-year old friend, which infuriates the disc jockey so much he hangs up on her (also below).

Their irresponsible behaviour will drag this crisis out even longer. More businesses will go to the wall because of that. More people will get sick and die because of that. And these cretins will be to blame for that.

Personal liberties are, of course, intrinsic to our society, but when some imbeciles are making choices that put others’ lives at risk as well as their own, then it’s time to take measures for the sake of the majority.

I would make them all do menial work – the emptying bed pans and arse wiping stuff – on coronavirus wards. Without a mask.

Although I’m not sure they can even be trusted with that.

News management

I know only too well how difficult it can be in a news conference to come up with a question that no one else has already asked, but Sky News’ political editor, Beth Rigby, excelled herself during the week by suggesting (remotely, of course) during the daily government update that Boris, health secretary Matt Hancock and (possibly) chief medical officer Prof Chris Whitty getting coronavirus was either careless or grossly negligent.

So it’s all Boris’ fault now, apparently, even though, as Michael Gove pointed out, this virus is indiscriminate about who it infects apart from them being adults.

And people slam the Beeb for not being impartial!

Meanwhile, not a word nationally about the fact that a temporary mortuary is being built on the car part of the crematorium in Corbets Tey, Upminster.

Because finding someone to blame is so much easier than reporting the truth, isn’t it?

Harry whinge

Now to the only other thing happening in the entire world apart from coronavirus, or that’s what the media would have us believe.

With an estimated 20,000 Brits set to die from COVID-19 before all this is over, why tabloid websites are still so obsessed with Mr and Mrs Henry Windsor is beyond me.

They have both made it quite clear that they don’t give a damn about us, so why should we show any interest in what they’re doing, whether it be in Canada or, as the red tops are claiming, California?

Don’t get me wrong, I wish them all the best, but like any ex, once they sling their hook, that’s it – end of, move on.

If they would just let me…

Stupid TV quiz answers of the week

Of course, it has to be Tipping Point.

  • Q: Which detective did Peter Sellers play in a series of films?
  • A: Columbo?
  • Q: Dyspepsia is another name for what?
  • A: Epilepsy?
  • Q: Who played Belle in the latest version of Beauty and the Beast?
  • A: Hermoine Grainger
Mr D P Gumby does flower arranging

Mick Ferris

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