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The Old Guard (Netflix)
It’s a sign of how expectations have lowered during lockdown that sitting through more than two hours of The Old Guard (finishing at 5.30am – what can I say, I never seem to fall asleep before daylight lately) was really no effort at all.
I can only put this down to the presence of Charlize Theron because the film itself has little to offer other than its star giving henchmen a good kicking and some explosions.
Charlize plays the millenniums-old leader of a small group of immortal warriors whose existence in today’s world has been exposed, making them targets of a young villainous pharmaceutical company CEO, who talks like Nicholas Lyndhurst in that awful old time travel sitcom.
In fairness, this latest adaptation of a graphic novel is far from a load of old pup, but Netflix makes a much better job of its series than its movies and pre-pandemic either I or my screenwriter youngest would have ripped it apart and spat out the bones.
Yet in the present circumstances, while ultimately unmemorable and certainly no Atomic Blonde or Mad Max, for the two hours five minutes running time it’ll do for now.