Christmas puddings – or should that be turkeys?

It takes a spectacular level of hypocrisy to accept a job to lead the investigation into alleged parties held in Downing Street in breach of lockdown when you attended an event in your own office during the same period.

What on earth was the UK’s top civil servant, Simon Case (no relation, obviously), thinking when he took the job on? If it was an attempt at a Boris whitewash, then it was always a non starter because someone was always going to alert the press to the party at Case’s office in December 2020 and expose the whole investigation as being utterly dodgy.

And for the public it appears to have been one dodgy caper too many.

It certainly had an effect on the North Staffs by election where the Tories lost a 23,000 majority in a seat they had held for almost 200 years.

Because despite the fact that there are far more important things going on in the world, the electorate, naively perhaps, but quite reasonably, expect our politicians to lead by example and government takes the public for fools at its peril.

When one of the supposedly safest seats in the country chooses a party that sold out its principles less than a decade ago over you, then less than 24 hours later your Brexit champion resigns because he doesn’t agree with “the current direction of travel” of the government”, you know you’re in deep trouble.

After the last general election, and Labour’s inability to provide a credible alternative, or even a leader with an iota of charisma, the only people capable of defeating the Tories were the Conservatives themselves.

And sure enough, maybe even predictably, with Downing Street leaking like a burst pipe in my girlfriend’s kitchen, they look like doing just that.

Culture Secretary Nadine Dorries described it as “regicide in the party’s DNA” before being kicked out of a WhatsApp chat by former minister Steve Baker a few days ago.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…

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Speaking of which, shall we start laying bets now on whether we actually get a Christmas this year? The Omicron variant is spreading through the UK like wildfire, but there are conflicting opinions on whether the symptoms are as severe. Plus, with booster jabs providing extra protection, the issue is no longer how many people catch COVID-19 – that’s a given – it’s the hospitalisations and fatalities that we need to pay attention to.

Those figures won’t become apparent for a few weeks yet, but the coronavirus isn’t going anywhere for the foreseeable future so life is going to have to carry on around it, with precautions of course (the most important of which is going to be common sense) because COVID is going to just be something else to add to the list of things that can kill us.

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I was pleasantly surprised that during the entire week I only saw three people not wearing a mask when they should have been.

Unfortunately, two of them were delivering my new sofa.

To them, and any others out there like them, let me say this: What doesn’t kill you will just mutate and come back for another go until eventually…

Stupid TV quiz answers of the week

Some idiot I’ve never heard of on Celebrity Chase:

Q: Someone with a superior attitude is said to be holier than…

A: Water

And a ffs moment from Tipping Point:

Q: Which Pop Artist designed the cover for the Rolling Stones album Sticky Fingers?

A: Pink?

Edward Case

Columnist