Half truths and complete lies spoken in tongues

With the exception of one mayoral result in the north east, the local elections were as disastrous as expected for the Conservatives despite some silly sausages trying the tired old “well what I’m hearing on the doorsteps…” fib beforehand in a last desperate bid to entice any drifting sheep likely to be grazing near a polling station.

By the weekend any thoughts of a rebellion had petered out because who would want to take on the poisoned chalice of being a Tory PM for about as long as Liz Truss?

Yet there was Dobby the Hogwarts Elf insisting that defeat at the upcoming general election is by no means a sure thing, pretty much calling the loss of 497 council seats a protest vote.

He knows the game is up, you can see it in his eyes and his demeanor, but he faces it out, giving an “alternative truth” to quote former Trump aide Kellyanne Conway, which at best is deluded and at worst just an outright lie in a bid to convince (who exactly is anyone’s guess) that things are nowhere near as bad as they seem, giving a deliberately false impression in the same way that Putin tailors the truth.

And it doesn’t stop there.

On the eve of the polls opening, I suppose someone had to be the doofus to draw the short straw and have the brass neck to try and present something completely unconnected to the Government’s Rwanda farce as a success for the policy, even though the departee left voluntarily after being paid £3,000 of taxpayers’ money and given free accommodation.

Step forward deputy party chairman Jonathan Gullis MP taking centre stage in the Commons last week with an enthusiasm for fervently spouting utter b****cks on a par with that woman who reads the “news” on TV in North Korea.

Except when she does it we call it propaganda.

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Donald Trump has violated a court gagging order regarding his ongoing hush money trial in New York no less than 10 times. He has been found in contempt, fined and warned he faces going to jail if he doesn’t stop yet still he won’t shut up.

It really is about time he was put behind bars, at least overnight, as the threats are obviously not being taken seriously.

This megalomaniac woman worrier thinks he’s above the law and the message being sent to the American people and the rest of the world at the moment is that he is.

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Hang on… wasn’t it the SNP who said not that long ago that the Westminster government was wrong to appoint two unelected leaders one after the other?

Mr Pot, meet Mr Kettle.

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Best quote of the week has to be Cruella Braverman in an interview on Laura Kuenssberg’s Sunday morning BBC show in which she said that Kier Starmer has “the charisma of a peanut.” But a close second was Labour MP Jess Phillips recounting to Sky News political editor Beth Rigby on their weekly podcast that said peanut had told her to eff off when she told him as they were sitting next to each other on a train journey that she was starting to feel sorry for Sunak.

Idiots corner

Tipping Point:

Q: In what decade did Elvis Presley have his first number 1 hit?

A: 19th

Beat The Chasers:

Q: Seraphim and Cherubin are types of what?

A: Turtle

Obviously, this week’s idiots corner couldn’t ignore Boris Johnson being turned away from his local polling station in South Oxfordshire for not having any photo ID when he was the one to introduce the rule in the first place.

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Edward Case

Columnist