Horrific for all the wrong reasons

Brahms: The Boy II (15) 86 minutes

If you’re going to make a horror sequel, you’ve got to put a hell of a lot of effort into making sure it’s not terrible, especially if the prior film is pretty rubbish anyway.

Well, this follow up to William Brent Bell’s less than impressive ‘The Boy’ is without a doubt even more terrible than its predecessor.

After a spontaneous home invasion, Lizzie (Katie Holmes – yes THAT Katie Holmes) takes her son Jude (Christopher Convery) to the Heelshire property, where we last saw the sweaty, hairy Brahms emerging from the walls having seemingly faked his own death as a child and deceiving his victims with a creepy porcelain doll (stupidly complicated, stick with me).

But Brahms is dead. So how can the mysterious doll continue to haunt visitors to the mansion?

Perhaps the only likeable, somewhat well-conceived element of the first film was the fact that the human Brahms, a gross thirty-something man in tight pyjamas living in the walls, clearly got a creepy, sexual thrill out of his control over…erm…that other woman that came to stay.

The psychotic “kiss me goodnight” line made it all just a little more deserving of at least a little bit of recognition.

But the problem with this horrific-for-all-the-wrong-reasons sequel is that there’s little to nothing in it – narratively nor in character development – to make it worth a watch.

The dialogue is dire. The scares are boring. Even the lovely Katie fails to deliver an ounce of believability.

But worst of all is the direction. It just feels so cheap and unnecessary. So poor in conception and development. There’s less of “what?” and more “why?”.

If you’re looking for a cheap thrill on a Friday night, knock yourself out. But you can expect nothing more than a pointless “BOO!” here and there.

RATING: 1/10