Kier pressure

I know I’m treading on dangerous ground here given the times, but as much as I support inclusiveness as a concept, there are aspects of it that are just beyond me, like decimal currency was to my old nan.

It doesn’t make me a bad person but I make no apologies in wondering when I began living in a world where, in the words of Sir Kier Starmer, it’s “not right” to say only women have a cervix and it “shouldn’t be said”.

This comes after the Labour leader was dragged into a row involving Canterbury MP Rosie Duffield, who came under fire after liking a tweet by broadcaster Piers Morgan, who criticised a news story from CNN about cancer screening for “individuals with a cervix”, responding: “Do you mean women?”

I don’t want to be labelled as transphobic because they are one of the most marginalised and abused groups (although if it’s the ultra puritan brigade pointing the finger at me, I don’t give a damn, cancel away snowflakes) and I’m even less enamoured with appearing to agree with anything Piers Morgan says, but there is surely a difference between identifying as having a cervix and actually having a cervix.

You can’t rewrite scientific fact to accommodate today’s political correctness, no matter how many votes it might get you.

Touch the suit. Is it leadership material?

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The season of political self agrandissement and preaching to the converted at the seaside is upon us again with the Labour Party Conference in Brighton further emphasising what those of us not driven by blind political partisanship know already – that to become a viable opposition, let alone stand any chance of being in government again, they need a decisive, credible leader (probably one without a knighthood, at least until they retire, who has a better vision for Labour than writing a bloody essay!).

Add to that, certain senior members of the shadow cabinet need to stop behaving like rabble and the civil war raging in the party has to stop.

Providing people with a valid choice is vital to a democracy, but when you can’t even effectively compete with a guy who references Kermit the Frog at the UN you know you’re in big trouble.

If they don’t get themselves together soon it won’t be long before their conference is like the Lib Dems – three people on a Zoom meeting, bring your own sandwiches.

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To all the people panic buying petrol, I hope you buy it all up so that teachers can’t get to school and you have to home teach your kids again.

The sperm banks are all going to be empty because all the wa***rs are at petrol stations

Meanwhile, well done to the BBC news editor who sent the perfectly named reporter to a BP station to report on the queues – Phil McCann!

Stupid TV quiz answers of the week:

Another bumper selection.

Q: The first televised presidential address was made in 1947 by which US president?

A: George Washington?

Q: A solar panel creates energy from which star?

A: The Moon?

Q: Which of th seven dwarfs has a name that means irritable?

A: Brat?

Q: The Japanese bantam is which type of farm animal?

A: A horse?

Q: Joe Biden served two terms as vice president under which US President?

A: Jeremy Corbyn?

Three of these answers came from the same person.

But even the most intellectually challenged numbty that Tipping Point can offer pales compared to the Emmy Awards red carpet interviewer who asked Gillian Anderson if she had asked Margaret Thatcher for any advice on playing her in The Crown.

She gets paid for that!

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Edward Case

Columnist