Queen of hearts

A lot has changed over the past seventy years, but one constant has been Her Majesty The Queen, who has been a shining example to the whole world of how a monarchy can still be relevant in modern times.

Of course, the Corbynistas will dismiss her reign as a life of affluent privilege and entitlement, but she has fulfilled a role she was not born into (and would not have occupied but for the abdication of her uncle Edward VIII in 1936 which saw her father become King George VI when she was 10 years old) flawlessly and with total unwavering commitment to public duty, remaining steadfast when sometimes as a country it looked like we were in danger of drowning in a sea of corruption and incompetence.

It’s a pity the same standards can’t be applied to some of her family, but the Queen can’t be faulted in the way she has conducted herself throughout her entire life and the four words she used to sign off a message to the nation marking the February 6 anniversary of her accession to the throne says it all: “Your servant, Elizabeth R.”

Congratulations on your platinum jubilee your majesty.

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As a newspaper editor since the late 1980s, over the year I’ve had to accept responsibility for things that happened when I was away on holiday. It comes with the territory and you just have to get on with it.

In 2013, Kier Starmer apologised on behalf of the CPS for not prosecuting Jimmy Savile when the now Labour leader was director of public prosecutions. Even though he had played no part in the decision, as the head of the organisation the buck stopped with him for the department’s failure and he readily accepted that. It’s standard procedure.

So with that in mind, what on earth is all the fuss about over Boris Johnson bringing it up in Parliament during the weekly playground exchange of schoolboy insults that posses as PMQs? Ian Krankie of the SNP almost burst a blood vessel over it.

The PM, who has himself had to make similar apologies over the past couple of weeks, later explained himself so I really don’t see a need for him to withdraw the comment, but the reaction was completely out of proportion.

As I’ve said countless times already, I may not particularly like or trust the guy, but come on.

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A week with an abundance of wtf moments was rounded off perfectly thanks to ITV’s The Masked Singer at the weekend when industrial scale layers of make up were still insufficient to hide the look of bemusement on Dame Joan Collins’ face as a weird looking parrot thing turned out to be the other one from Destiny’s Child.

While the rest of the panel of judges performed their usual mix of surprise and delight as not Beyonce or Kelly lifted the beak for the big reveal, Dame Joan’s reaction no doubt echoed that of many viewers with a look that said “who’s that behind the mask?”

Michelle Williams meanwhile, for that is the identity of the parrot or whatever winged creature she was disguised as, was just ecstatic to be anywhere that wasn’t a call centre.

Puzzling punditry of the week

Alan Shearer comparing Leicester City’s James Maddison to contemporaries Phil Foden and Mason Mount before the FA Cup fourth round game against Nottingham Forest: “I’m not saying they’ve left him behind but they’ve certainly overtaken him.”

Just me?

Stupid TV quiz answers of the week

Q: What word is a container for tea and someone who carries golf clubs?

A: Case

Q: Which Stanley Kubrick film is about a rebellious Roman centurion?

A: A Clockwork Orange

And where would this section be without Tipping Point?

Q: In the NATO phonetic alphabet what comes between delta and foxtrot?

A: Elephant