Looking back on 2021 I was all set to call it the year of the hypocrite, but the closer I looked the more a different word came to mind.
It has been a year where sleepy Joe Biden, the man who was supposed to bring some semblance of decency back to the US after four years of utter insanity, including an attempted redneck insurrection, chose instead to abandon an entire Asian nation to the same bloodthirsty zealots they had driven out in 2001 and spent 20 years keeping out.
As a result, Afghan women have been robbed of the right to work or to travel alone, girls are no longer allowed an education, businesses which don’t conform to Taliban doctrine, such as beauty salons, have been closed and anyone thought to have collaborated or taken advantage of the freedoms of the past two decades has been dealt with very publicly and decisively.
The desperate attempts by Afghan nationals to escape their homeland as US forces evacuated, leaving them to their fates – clinging onto the outside of aircraft, only to fall to their deaths – shows how terrified they were of the Taliban’s return.
It was the betrayal of a population and of the brave servicemen whose lives had been lost, as a result, for nothing.
Meanwhile in Europe, France, still smarting over Brexit and our reclaiming of fishing waters, deemed it acceptable to stand by and watch refugees boarding flimsy inflatables in an effort to cross the Channel, only to deny any responsibility when men, women and children drowned.
Closer to home it was Hancock with his hands full, Cummings out for revenge, expensive wallpaper, parties during lockdown, fuel prices and trying to change the law on MPs with second jobs in an effort to take care of your opportunist scumbag mates.
Rebels without a clue blocked the M25 in the name of saving the environment, seemingly oblivious to the extra pollution they were causing by leaving cars and lorries with their engines idling.
On a grander scale every country except for the main culprits promised to do their bit to cut carbon use, rendering the gesture as useless as plugging a breached oil tanker with an index finger wrapped in toilet paper.
It was the year that gender became a dirty word as the woke brigade mistakenly came to the assumption that taking offence automatically made them right, and anti vaxers mistook civil rights for wanton plague spreading.
Billionaire businessmen (that’s the ones not being accused of working on mass mind control via social media or by implanting chips into our arms via booster jabs) played at being astronauts (but at least, at the age of 90, Captain Kirk became one for real even if it was straight up and straight down again).
And finally, footballers trying to take trick penalties and missing – what’s that all about?.
So there it is, conclusive proof that 2021 was the year of the prat.
I like to think I’m doing my bit for the environment. My annual mileage has dropped right down, I try to avoid plastic as much as possible and I had an energy meter fitted so I can see how much gas and electricity I’m using, which allows me to think very carefully about switching things off when they’re not in use.
Then I step outside and every other house is festooned with so many Christmas lights a commercial jet could mistake the street for a runway.
Why do people insist on this ridiculous display every year? They can’t see it, they’re inside with the curtains closed so to them it must be akin to having armed police at the window telling them the place is surrounded and to come out with their hands up.
And the electricity being used makes any small effort I can make to save the planet utterly redundant because my neighbours are the street equivalent of China, the US, India and Russia.
Stupid TV quiz answer of the week
Q: Which English king was defeated by William the Conqueror at the Battle of Hastings?
A: A Richard?
I Literally Just Told You:
Q: Which star once reportedly ate someone’s hamster?